


The Fawn

by FleetRed



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Character Development, Extended Conversations, Gen, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-04 23:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18822739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetRed/pseuds/FleetRed
Summary: A baby deer fractures Noodle's perfectly manicured image of an unshakable, responsible prodigy. 2D helps her understand that it's ok not to be ok.





	1. Faline

**Author's Note:**

> I don't love Noodle because she's always portrayed as flawless and talented in every way. So I gave her a flaw, and, hopefully, some depth. I think she deserves to get frustrated.

Noodle flinched as something soft breezed past her calf. She saw a flash of brown and white pass by the corner of her eye, and then heard soft clacking that sounded like the spilling of marbles across linoleum. Some creature was in the house, and it had just skittered past her into the kitchen.

She walked past the counter-top separating the kitchen from the dinette, and gasped at what she saw.

God dammit. Stuart had brought another animal home. Where did he even get a baby deer?

Noodle didn't need to be dealing with this today. She was already irritated that the house was such a mess, and she knew the boys would be perfectly content to have the documentary scenes shot in squalor, so she found herself cleaning alone all day. They also didn't bother to text Denholm back, so she had to coordinate filming with him, and she was beginning to realize that the band had silently shifted so many of the tasks to her that chores were eating up her days. Maybe she ended up with these tasks because she's the only woman in the house, but she suspected it was mostly because her band mates were incapable louses.

And now there was another complication, tiny and stilt-legged, staring up at her from the kitchen floor with its dark eyes and long eyelashes. The fawn's white, fluffy tail twitched as Noodle stared back, then suddenly bolted away with a "Baa!"

Noodle closed her eyes and counted to ten in her head, repeating a mantra under her breath. "Nothing can affect me unless I let it. I am in control of my own reactions."

But her inner peace was interrupted by a lanky, twitchy housemate in suspenders, holding a small bale of alfalfa under one arm and stumbling into the kitchen. "Oh, hello Noodle! Have you met Faline yet?"

"Where'd that thing come from?"

"Oh, you saw her? I'm just letting her run around the house a bit while I set something up in the yard for her. I'm going to keep her separated from Madge until I'm sure they get along, I have to watch and see how they react to each other, yeah?"

"Ok. Stu, why do you have a deer?"

"A friend of mine at the wildlife rescue brought her here. I had told him about the yak house me and Russ built in the yard, and he thinks it's a good spot for her. See uh," Stu looked away and placed the alfalfa on the counter. Green bits shed from the bale, and Noodle eyed them, knowing she'd have to clean them up later.

"Faline is an orphan, see?" 2D continued. "Her mum got hit by a car, and, of course I sympathized with that! And, well, I couldn't say no to those eyes," 2D grinned and batted his own long eyelashes.

"Ok," Noodle acknowledged flatly. "You need to get rid of it."

"Well, someone from the wildlife rescue is going to come later today, and we're going to talk about whether we can teach her to live in the wild, but she needs a mum for a bit, and that's going to be me."

On another day, Noodle would smile politely, retreat to her room, and meditate until she could think of a solution. Likely, she would determine what she wanted, what was best for everyone, and propose it in a way to the boys that had them thinking it was their idea all along.

But today, Noodle was burned out, and at the end of her rope. She had no more patience for these man-children and their shenanigans.

"No. Get rid of it now."


	2. Not About the Deer

"Ba!"

The deer broke the silence with a bleat, and tiptoed into view. She cocked her head at 2-D, who had paused, perplexed, at the demand.

"Well," he started. "She doesn't have anywhere to go. Did she eat something of yours?"

"No," Noodle conceded. "Not yet. But she's a responsibility. You are not responsible. You can hardly take care of yourself, how are you supposed to take care of other creatures?"

2-D sat at the barstool to rest his arms on the countertop by the alfalfa bale. Faline approached and sniffed at his shoes.

"I worry about that too, sometimes," 2-D admitted. He had always made his animals a priority, or paid a trusted friend to come take care of them while he was on the road. He was nothing short of devastated when Murdoc killed and ate Quentin, and didn't get another pet until the yak. "But I think she deserves a chance."

"It's not just about the deer," Noodle sighed. "I guess you are taking good care of Madge. But that's the only thing you're doing right. If you wouldn't spend so much time on pets, maybe you could be a functioning adult."

"What do you mean?"

Noodle picked up a mug from the drying rack, planning to fill it up, but was too agitated to do so. Instead, she held it firmly. "You should be spending your time managing your own schedule, refilling your own prescriptions, tying your own shoes. You are incapable."

2-D, still riding on the coattails of confidence brought by the success of The Now Now, huffed at the implication. "I'm plenty capable. I made an album. What issue is it to you if I can't tie my shoes?"

"It's an issue, not just with you, but with Russ and Murdoc too. None of you can do  _anything._  So who takes care of all these issues, holding you hands when you have mental breakdowns and bad trips and bad dreams? It's me. I have to do so much for us, as a band, as a family, and as people. Because you're all just large children, I have to do _everything!"_ Noodle yelled, and slammed the mug on the table.

The fawn jumped straight up at the sound, then bounded away. 2-D flinched and stood up from the bar stool, taking a step back. "A-are you ok?" 

Noodle puffed and tried to regain control. "Yes. I'm fine. I'm always fine. It's you boys who are damaged."

As usual, 2-D, failed to interpret the emotions behind Noodle's words. "Good, I thought you were upset. Y-you scared me." 

Noodle felt tears prick the sides of her eyes, but held them back. She just wasn't getting through to him. "Stu, you're an idiot," she added quietly. 

Stu blinked and gulped, gears turning. "Noodle, it's ok if you're not ok." 

Noodle crossed her arms and turned around. "I don't want to not be ok. I don't want to be like you, so fragile and jumpy and dependent and in therapy. I'm strong and independent. I spent my teenage years going through literal hell, while you were on a beach, so I can handle anything. I don't want to be like you, you should be more like me." 

Stu took a step forward and walked around the counter to her, cautiously. "I would love to be more like you. You inspire me every day to be stronger. Maybe you can give me some tips on having a strong brain, yeah? But you don't have to be strong every day."

It was hard for Noodle to stay mad in the face of compliments, but her back stayed turned to him. She didn't feel like she had closure or catharsis just yet. She pondered how to communicate what she was feeling. Then she remembered--she  _had_ communicated her feelings, but not out loud. She walked around Stu and towards the bookshelf, pulling out a copy of some of the music they had arranged for the next album. She flipped through it until she found the page she was seeking, and laid the book on the counter, open. Faline returned to the room slowly, and twitched her ears inquisitively. "Stu, come read this."

 

 


	3. Speaking Clearly

2-D maneuvered to the open book and studied the page Noodle had opened for him. He had written the melody for this song, but Noodle had written the lyrics, words that she was point to.

 

_Roots run deep_

_They hold and feed the towering tree_

_But roots lie unknown beneath your feet._

 

Stu read the lyrics over and over, and Noodle waited expectantly. "Do you see?" she asked.

2-D rubbed his temples and read the lines again. "No."

 _Did she have to spell it out for him?_ Noodle took the book back and closed it. "You don't see what I'm saying? How I feel as a member of this band?"

"Is that what that song's about?"

"Yes! You don't get it?"

With a straight face, he replied. "No, Noodle, I don't understand what this song about a tree has to do with you. I'm an  _idiot,_ remember?"

Noodle was silent. Was he being sarcastic? It couldn't be. He wasn't capable of sarcasm. He also wasn't capable of understanding nuanced, lyrical metaphors. He was simply, clearly and unironcially explaining why he didn't understand Noodle's message. 

He looked hard into her eyes. "Can you please just tell me what you mean?"

Perhaps she should return the favor and explain herself literally. She wasn't used to doing that, though; she had always been conditioned to hide her negative emotions, and wrapping them in the melody of a song was the most expressive she tended to get. 

But that wasn't working anymore. She couldn't leave room for interpretation.  

"Stu, you always expect me to be perfect." 

2-D nodded. "I'm sorry you feel like that but, you really don't have to be. You're still miles ahead of the rest of us, I never thought you were perfect. Just perfect at hiding your issues."

Noodle was stunned at the clarity from her friend, although a bit annoyed. It sounded like a canned response that a therapist had taught him. She continued anyway. 

"I also think it's not fair that I'm the youngest and I have to be a parent to all of you. You were supposed to be parents to me." She really thought 2-D, especially, was little more than musically-gifted child. Then she winced at the fact that she had just yelled at him, yelled at a child. 

"Thank you for doing that, Love. Let's talk afterwards about what we can do to take some of the responsibility off of you."

"That's not all," the young woman continued. "Growing up, I think it would have been nice to know I could lean on someone responsible," she sighed, and walked to sit on the bar stool beside Stu. "I want to feel stability and consistency now, for once in my life."

Stu nodded.  

"And I want recognition, and... _attention,_ " she admitted. 

Then, she felt something wet on her calf. She looked down to see Faline licking her, pink tongue flicking in and out earnestly. 

2-D smiled. "You can pick her up."

Noodle gingerly hoisted the deer into her lap and held her like a baby. They peered into each others' dark eyes.

Stu was back in the kitchen, pulling a milk bottle from the fridge. He handed it to Noodle. "Give her this bottle, and she'll love you. She'll give you all the attention you want." 

Noodle angled the bottle down to the fawn's mouth. Faline started nursing, making wet sounds and looking straight up at her. She was so small and innocent. 

2-D looked down at his phone and frowned. "Noods, I'm glad we could have this conversation. Do you want to meet with the rest of the band later and we can talk about sharing responsibilities? And maybe I can talk with our agent to get some more publicity for you. And, and whatever else you need to say and do and feel. If you tell us what you need and what you want, we can try to make it happen." 

Noodle was all but lost in the face of the fawn. "Yes. You're right. I'm ok, really. But I could be more ok. I'm going to tell you all exactly how I feel."

Stu's phone vibrated. "Denholm sent me a text;" 2-D explained. "He wants to talk on the phone. Do you mind if I call him? Then I have to bring Madge water, then I can do some clean-up." Stu grinned at the perfect picture of Noodle with a cozy fawn wrapped in her arms. "Do you want me to leave you with the baby?"

Faline didn't have the parents she was supposed to have, but she had a chance at a family. At support and love and stability. Noodle couldn't kick her out. 

"Yes," Noodle replied. "That's what I want."


End file.
